Life is Good
by Python Chick
Summary: Angel's shanshu has happened and he and Buffy start a new relationship, but when a serious accident occurs, their lives are disrupted once again. B/A. Please R/R.
1. Life is Good

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: January 26, 2001  
  
Life Is Good  
  
To fulfill his prophecy and Shanshu, Angel had to destroy the source of Wolfram & Hart; the infamous Senior Partners. They were a group of demons intent on placing the Earth in the hands of their kind permanently. It was a hard, long battle, but Angel, Gunn, and Wesley won, and Angel walked out of it with a pulse.  
  
They drove straight from LA without a second blink. I answered my door and he stood there battered, bruised, and breathing. He managed a weak 'hello' before collapsing in my arms. But when Angel looked back up at me, his face covered in bruises, cuts, and scratches, he had never looked more handsome in all the years I'd known him. He spent the day sleeping in my room and awoke with a sudden gasp and an insatiable hunger. It's a good thing I still had half a bucket of Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip ice cream from when Riley had left. I may not have been in love with him, but it gave me an excuse to eat junk food.  
  
So here I am, a wonderful week later, lying in bed beside my normal, yet exceptionally gorgeous boyfriend who is sleeping peacefully. It is noon and the sun shines through the window and lights him up like an angel, my Angel. All except for the halo, which he certainly doesn't deserve after last night's escapade. But then, I guess I don't really deserve the white nightgown I'm wearing either.  
  
I love him with all of my heart and soul and I feel that I have everything I need in life with him, even though one of my friends thinks otherwise. And of course that's my Xander-shaped friend. He still acts like he hates Angel, but I think it's mostly just for show. Once in a while he'll stop himself before calling him Deadboy, so I think he's getting used to having him around. I'm glad he's trying to make Angel feel more welcome, even if it is just for my sake.  
  
He stirs in his sleep, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I wonder what he's dreaming of. Maybe he's dreaming of his last battle as a vampire, or thinking how it could be the last battle of his life. As much as he wants to, I won't let him patrol with me. He's been reduced to researching with Willow, Tara, Anya, and Cordelia, while Wesley, Giles, Xander, and I take care of the evil things. Of course Xander used this to his advantage against Angel, saying how much more useful he is to me in a fight, to which Angel replied, 'Buffy doesn't want me to fight because she would actually miss me.' which made Anya burst into tears at the thought of losing Xander. Neither of them mentions their level of importance in a fight anymore.  
  
Now that he's human, Cordelia's visions have ceased and she can lead a somewhat normal life considering she lives on the Hellmouth and has to research demons nearly every night. Though she was surprised to hear that Harmony had been vamped, she was more surprised that she had been living with Spike for the past few months. One night she was walking from her apartment to her car and Harmony approached her. Not knowing she was a vampire, Cordelia began to talk to her, well it was more like answering her millions of questions about LA, until she vamped out and tried to bite Cordy. She laughed at Harmony and pulled out a stake before deftly staking her. Needless to say, Spike was somewhat relieved.  
  
As I lay here thinking of the past week, Angel wakes up and his first instinct is to shy away from the sun. He remembers that he's alive and smiles sheepishly at me. I chuckle and give him a 'good morning' kiss. The phone beside the bed rings and I tell him to ignore it. He does and the answering machine picks up. It's Giles, of course, and he tells us to come to the Magic Box because they've found some new demon I need to go kill.  
  
"I told you I'd never have a normal life." I smirk. "So, is the first shower yours or mine?"  
  
He grins back at me. "Well Buffy, we really should do our part to conserve water." he says, pulling me closer and kissing me softly.  
  
Oh yeah, life is good.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Sequel? Series? I've got a couple ideas I could try out after exams. Tell me what you think.  



	2. A Case of the Ex

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: January 31, 2001  
  
~~ A Case of the Ex ~~  
  
We leave his apartment and Angel and I make our way to the Magic Box after our--eventful shower. We hold hands and walk in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence after almost three years of being apart. We smile to one another as we stroll wordlessly down the street.  
  
When we reach Giles' shop, Angel holds the door open for me. He's always such a gentleman. We enter the shop and I stop walking as the smile quickly erases itself from my face. Angel nearly runs into me and asks what's wrong before looking up. I can't believe my eyes at the person sitting at the table talking with Giles. It's Riley.  
  
Angel knows almost everything about Riley and I. I told him about the Initiative and that I didn't truly love Riley and how he had gone to his vamp-whores because he felt that I didn't need him. I told him how he gave me an ultimatum and how I didn't make it to the helicopter in time. It hurt Angel to know that I had wanted to try again with Riley, but he had to know. I didn't want to hold anything back with Angel; that's the mistake I made with Riley. I don't regret missing the helicopter, but as I see him sitting there, my heart aches at the thought of hurting him like I did. But then, he hurt me too.  
  
He looks in my direction and quickly stands up as I walk down the steps. I can sense Angel's anger and nervousness in the way he laces his fingers through mine and squeezes my hand gently, letting me know he's supporting me but also flaunting to Riley that we're back together.  
  
"Hi, Buffy," Riley says, smiling slightly. "Angel." He sort of forces himself to say Angel's name, but at least he acknowledges him in a kind way.  
  
"Hello," I reply, returning his smile while Angel nods his hello. "Hi, Giles."  
  
"Hello," he says nervously. I can see his uneasiness, as he stands, uncertain of what to do. Surely he must have expected something like this to happen when he called me at Angel's. "I'll prepare the training room, Buffy." I turn to Angel and ask him to help Giles. He looks in my eyes and gives me a quick kiss. I see him smirk at Riley before following Giles into the training room.  
  
Riley and I regard each other for a minute. The silence is deafening until I decide to break it. "So, how did the mission go in Belize?"  
  
"Well, we got most of them, but a couple of them escaped and we followed them here," he says nervously. "We lost a few men, but they lost a whole lot more."  
  
"That's good," I say but I quickly correct my words. "I mean, not about your friends, but about the demon-slayage."  
  
Riley nods. "It's okay, Buffy. I just wanted to give you a warning."  
  
"So what do these demons look like and how do I kill them?" I ask brightly.  
  
"You don't need to go hunt them down," he says. "It's our mission; we'll get them."  
  
"I'm the Slayer, it's my duty," I say. "I'll find it, slay it, and Giles will tell me what a good job I did."  
  
"These demons won't die from a sliver, Buffy." he says. "They're tough."  
  
"So am I," I return bitterly. "I have other weapons, Riley. You know that."  
  
"Right...like your vampire boyfriend." he says flatly. "You'll get him to kill the demon for you then go home and screw him just like you did before."  
  
My anger and hurt build up inside of me. I step up to Riley and slap him...hard. "You leave Angel out of this!" I say bitterly as he leans on the table for support from my strike. "If you didn't notice, we walked here in the sunlight. He's human. Which is more than I can say for you."  
  
I stalk off toward the training room where Angel and Giles are waiting for me. Before opening the door, I stop and turn around. His cheek is already beginning to bruise and I feel a slight pang of regret, but it quickly passes and I stand my ground. "When I'm done training, you'd better be gone. That includes your army friends. Sunnydale is my territory; it's not for demon-torturing wannabes."  
  
I enter the training room and slam the door behind me. Giles and Angel are startled out of their conversation and turn to face me, each wearing a worried face when they see my hurt expression.  
  
Angel steps toward me. "What happened?" he asks.  
  
I walk past him, practically hearing his heart break. I remove my jacket and set it on a chair. "Not now. It's training time."  
  
While Giles runs the shop, Angel and I train until I finally tire two hours later. I feel a little better now that I've worked off some of my anger. I'm just sorry it had to be taken out on Angel.  
  
"Sorry, I was just in a training mood," I say.  
  
"No, you were in a venting mood," he says. "What happened earlier?"  
  
"Riley doesn't want me to fight the demon because it's 'their' mission," I reply. "I'm stronger than him yet he thinks I can't handle myself."  
  
"Is that all?" he says. "Why get upset over that? He's not worth it."  
  
"I know," I reply. I want to tell him the rest of the conversation, but he'll lecture me on overreacting. "But he knows how much it ticks me off."  
  
"Maybe you should let them handle the demon," he says. "They've killed a whole lot more of them and they've got their fancy weapons."  
  
"But--" I start to protest before Angel kisses me gently. He pulls away and smiles. I look up at him, still determined to win this argument. "If I find one, I'm going to kill it."  
  
Angel chuckles and nods. "Okay, but promise me you'll be careful."  
  
I nod and smile. "Always," I say. "Now let's ask Giles what they look like so I'll know when I find one." I slip my hand into his and start to walk off towards the door but Angel stops me.  
  
"I heard what Riley said about me," he says. "I also heard the smack you gave him." He smiles slightly. "Why didn't you want to tell me?"  
  
"It upset me...but I would have told you later," I reply sweetly. I flash him my 'I'm-such-a-cutie-you-can't-possibly-be-mad-at-me' smile and he surrenders and smiles back. And not just his usual grin, an actual smile that melts my heart. When we're around our friends, he'll grin or smirk, but he doesn't usually smile...he saves those for me.  
  
"Are we going to go patrolling tonight?" he asks.  
  
"I have a better idea," I say pulling him close and wrapping my arms around his waist. "How about I go patrolling, and you stay here and work out? Now that you're human you're going to have to keep in shape."  
  
"Buffy, I'm not going to break if I go patrolling with you," he argues stepping away from me. "I've been fighting vampires just as long as you have!"  
  
"But you're not a vampire anymore. You're not built for it," I protest. "I don't want you getting hurt."  
  
He sighs. "I need to get outdoors sometime during my life. I can't sit around all day and read dusty, old books." he says.  
  
"It's what you did when you were a vampire," I say with a grin.  
  
"No, that was poetry," he chuckles. "Books about demons weren't that interesting to me...they weren't brooding material."  
  
"Well, if you promise to be careful, I guess you could come patrolling with me," I say. He steps closer to me again. "But don't try and be a hero."  
  
He smiles. "Okay, okay, I promise I'll behave," he says. Then he leans next to my ear and whispers, "When there's vampires around at least. The rest of the time is my time."  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way," I whisper back. "But first we have to stop by my house for some weapons and a change of clothes."  
  
"I swear you own more clothes than Cordy has in her entire lifetime." he smirks.  
  
I hit him lightly as we leave the shop and head for my house.  



	3. Spare Time

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: February 05, 2001  
  
~~ Spare Time ~~  
  
Angel and I arrive at my house and we head upstairs to my room. Mom is out shopping and Dawn is in her room listening to music. Angel waits in my room as I quickly shower from today's training. I return to my room, closing the door behind me, and quickly change while Angel lies on my bed, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on my ceiling...for the third time this week. After I've changed he sits on the end of my bed as I pull out a bag and start filling it with stakes, crosses, and other small weapons from my weapons trunk. If we encounter a demon, we have to be ready.  
  
"Buffy, you can relax a little," he says. "It's only three-thirty. We have hours until sundown."  
  
"A prepared Slayer is a successful Slayer." I say with a smile. Angel moves from his seat on my bed to beside me on the floor. He takes the bag and puts it aside so I can't reach it. I grab for the bag but he gently catches my wrist and pulls me into a kiss.  
  
We stop kissing as we hear mock-smooching noises coming from the door. It's Dawn facing her back to us and pretending that she's kissing someone. You know how kids wrap their arms around themselves and have their hands rub their back, pretending that it's someone else? Well, anyway, that's what she's doing.  
  
"Dawn get out of here," I say, glaring daggers at her. "Besides, I didn't hear you knock."  
  
She completely ignores me and smiles adoringly at Angel. "Hello," she says so sweetly that it sickens me. I can't believe she's flirting with my boyfriend. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, Dawn," he replies, giving her a small smile. "How about you?"  
  
"I've been worse," she says.  
  
"Dawn. Leave. Now," I practically growl. She rolls her eyes and goes back to her room. I get up and close the door behind her. After sitting back down beside Angel, I sigh angrily. "God, she is so annoying!" I complain. "She always eavesdrops and she never knocks. She's been doing that ever since I started dating!" I glanced at the door and lower my voice. "You'd think the monks that gave us our memories could have given me a little privacy."  
  
Angel smiles one of his million dollar smiles. "But it would be unnatural for a little sister not to be so nosy." he says.  
  
"Or to have a crush on her older sister's boyfriend?" I ask with a grin. "But I guess she can't help it, I mean, you are quite cute." I lean over and kiss him softly. We clasp our hands together and our matching Claddaugh rings clink as they hit each other. We wear them with the hearts facing in of course.  
  
There's a knock on the door and it interrupts our peaceful moment. "Dawn, go away!" I shout through the door.  
  
"It's me," a male voice replies. It's Riley.  
  
"Um, hold on a sec," I say, standing up and answering the door while Angel sits once again on the edge of the bed. "Hi." I say quietly without a smile. Dawn is standing beside him in the hallway.  
  
"Maybe you guys would have heard the doorbell if you hadn't been kissing so loudly." she smirks, deciding to add her comment just to make things a little more tense.  
  
"Thanks, Dawn, now please go to your room," I interrupt through clenched teeth.  
  
"Well since you asked so nicely." she mocks and returns to her room, slamming the door and blasting her music.  
  
"Why don't we go downstairs and talk," I say. Riley nods and heads downstairs as Angel gets up to join me at the door. "Please don't start anything." I beg.  
  
"Buffy, you know as well as I do that I'll probably end up being the referee." he jokes.  
  
"Ha-ha, Angel. Very funny," I say flatly. We headed downstairs and sat in the living room. Riley sits in the armchair and Angel and I take the loveseat, of course.  
  
"So, what brings you here, Riley?" I ask. "More lectures about fighting demons?"  
  
"Actually, Buffy, I wanted to apologize for what I said today," he says sincerely. "I was out of line and--"  
  
"Jealous," Angel whispers. Obviously loud enough for Riley to hear because he stops talking and looks down out of embarrassment.  
  
I elbow Angel lightly. "I'm sorry too, Riley." I say. "For hitting you and calling you a demon-torturer. I know that's not what your mission is."  
  
Riley gently touches the light purple bruise on his left cheek, wincing at its sensitivity. "That was a welcome change from the injuries I faced in Belize," he chuckles.  
  
I smile and absentmindedly tuck a piece of hair behind my left ear. Riley notices the ring I'm wearing and then sees the identical ring on Angel's right hand. I see the uncomfortable look on his face and put my hand down quickly.  
  
"Well, I should be going. I just wanted to apologize and also to tell you that I'm going to be out tonight with some of the guys trying to find these demons." he says, handing me a walkie-talkie. "If you see one out there, call us and we'll take care of it. Chances are they're sticking close together. You might not be able to handle both of them at once."  
  
I nod. "I see, I call; got it. Thanks, Riley." I say smiling and stand up as Riley and Angel do too.  
  
We head toward the door and after Riley leaves Angel smirks. "That's the guy you chose after me, huh? He doubts your ability...very appealing," he says. "Was he like that before or after I last visited you?" His slightly condescending tone of voice reminds me of Angelus' mocking comments.  
  
"Angel relax," I say. "Don't let him bother you. Besides, he's not the one I chose after you." I instantly regret letting it slip once I see his out but now I have to tell him. "Um, see there was this guy and he was nice and understanding and--"  
  
"A complete jerk," Angel finishes. It's like he can read my mind sometimes. "Spike told me about a guy when he was torturing me. I wanted to call you, but I you were trying to move on and I thought that it might hurt you more...and me. I would have driven down here and kicked his ass if I could have without you finding out."  
  
"Thanks, but I took care of it. I beat him over the head with a stick a couple of times," I chuckle at the memory. "Oh, but don't worry, I was a cave-woman at the time."  
  
"I don't think I even want to know about that," he smiles. He looks at his watch. "So what do you wanna do for the next few hours?"  
  
I sigh innocently. "I don't know, why don't we hang out upstairs?" I suggest.  
  
"All the way upstairs?" he complains. "Can't we just veg-out on the couch and watch some TV?"  
  
"My you've become a lazy human," I giggle. He picks me up and carries me to the couch, lying me across his lap and flipping on the TV. "I think Jerry Springer's on. That's always good for a laugh." I say. "And really harsh chick-fights. You'd think they were Slayers or something."  
  
"But you've got to remember that half of the chicks on that show are guys." Angel laughs. He flips past Springer and stops on a football game.  
  
"Hey!" I complain and try to grab the remote.  
  
"I just want to check the score," he replies, playing keep-away-from-Buffy.  
  
"Since when did you start watching football?" I ask.  
  
"Since I bet Xander twenty bucks that his favorite team would lose." he says.  
  
"And who's his favorite team?" I ask with a grin.  
  
"I have no clue, but I'm sure they'll lose if he likes them." he smirks.  
  
"Hey!" I say sharply, but still teasingly. "Be nice or I'll tell him your birth name, Liam."  
  
"You wouldn't," he says with a semi-worried look on his face.  
  
"Wouldn't I?" I grin.  
  
I grab the remote and turn it back to Springer. I keep the remote out of his reach and he begins tickling my sides before pulling me into a kiss.  
  
"God, is that all you guys do?" Dawn asks as she stands at the bottom of the stairs with her hands on her hips and a disgusted look on her face...or possibly a jealous look.  
  
"Yup," I reply, pulling Angel down and kissing him again. He pulls away from me and blushes slightly as Dawn rolls her eyes and storms into the kitchen.  
  
So what if I want to show off my hottie boyfriend to my jealous sister...wouldn't you?  



	4. The Battle Begins

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: February 10, 2001  
  
~~ The Battle Begins ~~  
  
Angel and I hold hands while we patrol through the cemetery; well stroll through is more like it. A fledgling vampire jumps out in front of us from behind a tombstone and I quickly start fighting it. A punch to its face and a kick to its stomach send it to the ground and I quickly bury a stake in its heart. I stand up and turn back to Angel who is leaning against a tree staring silently up at the moon.  
  
"I remember how the moon used to call to the demon in me. Summoning me to the darkness to maim and torture any being I came across," he looks over at me and smiles. "Now I can just look at it like any other person and wonder if it's really made of cheese."  
  
I laugh as I walk up to him and stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. All of a sudden my 'spider-sense' goes off and I break the kiss to spin around and prepare to fight the approaching vampire. It's just Spike. He slowly wanders up to us and stands only a few feet away.  
  
"Isn't that sweet," he says bitterly while crushing a cigarette butt under his boot. "Peaches and Slutty are back together--"  
  
Angel grabs Spike by the throat and roughly holds him against the tree he was just leaning against. Spike tries to escape Angel's grasp, which is surprisingly strong against Spike's vampiric strength. "Spike, calm down, I wouldn't want you to accidentally dust yourself on a stray tree branch," he says sarcastically, staring down at the blonde vampire.  
  
"Really?" Spike asks, stalling for time until Angel calms down.  
  
"Of course not," he replies. "I would want to stake you myself."  
  
I remove Angel's hand from Spike's throat and stand between them like a teacher standing between two fighting students. "Thanks, luv," Spike says. "For a minute there I thought you'd be mad--" Spike is once again cut off when I shove him against the tree. "Hey, what's the deal here?" he questions angrily.  
  
"The deal is that you will tell us about two runaway demons from Belize and I won't shove this wooden stake in your chest." I say in a sarcastically sweet voice.  
  
Spike stands there for a minute. "Well, they're about seven feet tall, ugly, green, with horns sticking out from their shoulders, and they wear heavy armor plates," he says with a smirk. "Oh, and they're coming from over there." He points behind Angel and I before sauntering off.  
  
We spin around and see two demons matching Spike's description. They step from behind a tree and look around, one carrying a heavy ax, the other carrying a mace. They look in our direction and growl menacingly, baring two rows of large, sharp teeth. One points his weapon at us. "Slayer," he bellows. "And Angelus."  
  
They start to approach us and I take a crossbow from my weapons bag. I load a silver-tipped arrow and take aim. "Giles said that silver reacts with their blood and acts as a poison," I explain to Angel. "It will paralyze them for a few minutes, but it won't kill them."  
  
"What will?" he asks, busily searching through my bag as the monsters pick up their speed.  
  
"My blood mixed with theirs," I say quickly. "It stops their heart."  
  
He stands up holding a small dagger. "Angel, that's not even silver, it won't paralyze them."  
  
"No it won't," he replies. "But I bet it'll still hurt like hell."  
  
I release the trigger and the arrow leaves the bow like lightning. My target, the demon carrying the mace, bats it away with his weapon without breaking stride. He grins evilly and stops walking along with his buddy. "Now the battle begins, Slayer," he growls.  
  
"And it's about to end." I say. I quickly reload another arrow. "I can't say it was nice knowing you, though." One of the demons charges at me and knocks the crossbow clear across the cemetery with its ax before I can shoot it. Left with no other weapons for the time being, I proceed to punch and kick my attacker as the other creature approaches Angel, waving its weapon menacingly around.  
  
The demon I'm fighting swings its ax and I duck down, avoiding the ax by mere inches. He repeats the action but aims for my legs and I have to jump above the weapon. Upon landing, I kick the demon's stomach and although armored, he stumbles back a step. I steal a glance at Angel who is mostly dodging the monster's attacks. He's tiring though, and can't hold up much longer. I run over to him, capturing the attention of both demons and gently pushing Angel out of harm's way. My push is a little stronger than intended and he is shoved back against the tree beside my weapons bag, but at least he's safe for now.  
  
"Angel, call Riley and tell him to get down here," I instruct him. "We're gonna need all the help we can get."  



	5. Helping Hands

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: February 16, 2001  
  
~~ Helping Hands ~~  
  
I turn back to the demons as Angel contacts Riley and his team with the walkie-talkie. The demons snarl and growl and bare their fangs, dripping with saliva. Ew much? The demon with the mace swings at me and I duck and roll as the other demon swings its ax down, hitting the ground with a loud thud.  
  
"Buffy!" Angel calls as I stand up quickly. He tosses me an ax of my own and I catch it, swinging it immediately to block the demon's mace from hitting me.  
  
Out of nowhere, the demon is hit with an arrow in its arm. It hisses loudly after realizing that it's from my crossbow. I take a couple steps back and Spike stands next to me with a wide grin. At least he's enjoying the fight. "Didn't think I would miss out on all this fun, now did you?" he asks.  
  
The demon slumps to the ground and the other growls angrily. It barrels toward Spike with its ax in hand, preparing to fight. "Got anymore arrows, Slayer?" Spike asks quickly, taking a few hurried steps backward.  
  
"In my bag, but you won't have time to load it." I reply.  
  
I run over to the paralyzed demon and quickly unlatch the armor from over its heart. I then use my ax to cut my left hand. The blood seeps out instantly as its sharp edge buries itself in my hand. I wince in pain as I drag it slowly across my palm. I then cut a similar sized gash on the demon's chest. Holding my hand a few inches above the cut and making a tight fist, my blood pours over the demon's wound and I watch as my red blood mixes with it's blue blood, forming a dark purple color. The demon's body shudders involuntarily and a growl forms in its throat. "Slayer," it growls. "You will never defeat all of our kind." Don't these things ever die quietly?   
  
"Maybe not, but you and your brother are a good start," I reply. The demon grunts one last time before its eyes roll back into its head and its breathing ceases. I stand up and check on Spike to see how he's doing with the other demon. He's now upgraded from the crossbow to a long sword. I run over to where Angel is fighting a vampire. Stupid fledglings will try and get a meal anywhere they can. He quickly dusts the vampire as I run up to him, holding pressure on my hand.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asks.  
  
"Yeah, I've got to help Spike though," I say glancing over at the blonde vampire, taunting and cursing the demon for all it's worth. He's really getting into the fight. He blocks each of the demon's strikes with the sword. "Where'd he get that sword?" I ask Angel.  
  
"Oh, that's mine," he replies. "I picked it up in LA. It's got a nice silver tip on it, perfect for killing demons with allergies."  
  
I get some bandages from my bag and quickly wrap my hand. It's not perfect, but it'll hold until I can kill this demon. I run over to where Spike and the demon are fighting. It swings its ax at Spike and he blocks and holds it there for a second while I quickly kick it in the back, sending it falling forward. "Thanks, Spike. But you should leave. The commandos are on their way and you don't want to get caught in the crossfire." I say. I quickly grab the sword and he silently pouts as he stalks off...as usual.  
  
The demon growls as it stands up, retrieving its ax from the ground beside it. I wield the sword preparing to parry any attempted strikes from it. And it does just that. I block the first swing and try and hit it with one of my own, but it dodges and returns the swing. It connects with my side and sends me to the ground, sending Angel's sword even further away. I flip onto my back and the demon hovers over me, raising its ax above its head. It grins evilly at me, growling and snarling all the while. Suddenly its grin is wiped off of its face as Angel's sword is thrust into its leg. It spins around to see Angel standing there, with a cocky grin on its face.  
  
"Tell the guys 'downstairs' that Angelus says hi," he smirks as the demon falls to the ground paralyzed from the sword's silver tip. I have to roll out of the way so the demon's heavy body doesn't squash me. "And Riley said you couldn't handle them both." Angel walks over and helps me stand up. The gauze on my hand is completely soaked with blood. I try to pry the demon's armor off but I'm too weak and Angel isn't able to either. We keep the sword nearby in case the effects of the silver wear off but Riley and his team find us.  
  
"Riley, we can't get the armor plate off to mix my blood with the demon's," I say. "Do you have any weapons that will?"  
  
"I've got something better," he replies. Graham steps up beside him and holds out a black suitcase filled with sharp instruments. Riley takes out a syringe filled with red liquid. He kneels next to the demon and injects the solution into its arm. The demon dies much in the same manner as the first one except without the ominous threat. "There. That takes care of that." Riley says.  
  
"You mean that was Slayer's blood?" I ask. "Where did you get it?"  
  
"We contacted Faith in LA," he says, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "She donated some blood for our mission."  
  
"Oh...you could've asked me." I say quietly, feeling slightly hurt...and slightly jealous. "I would have given you mine."  
"Right. You were always so willing to give it out before." he says glancing at Angel.  
  
"I could say the same about you," I say bitterly. "Well, now that you've got your demons, I guess you'll be leaving Sunnydale?"  
  
"Yeah, there's nothing else here that interests me." he replies looking straight at me.  
  
"Good. I trust you won't mind cleaning up this mess?" I say pointing to the demons. I turn to Angel and intertwine my hand in his. "Let's go home, Angel."  
  
"Sure. You know, Buffy, after fights like that, I get pretty thirsty. I might have to snack on the way home." he says smirking at Riley as we walk by. Angel picks up my weapons bag and I pick up the sword and crossbow. He tosses the walkie-talkie to Riley and we walk off through the cemetery as I make a mental note to thank Spike tomorrow with a complementary bag of blood.  



	6. The Aftermath

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: March 23, 2001  
  
~~ The Aftermath ~~  
  
We arrive back at Angel's apartment and he bandages up my hand for me. Patching each other up is sort of our tradition after a fight. He's got a couple bruises, but thankfully that's all.  
  
"Are you sure you're not hurt?" I ask for about the millionth time tonight. "Because internal bleeding can just pop up--"  
  
"Buffy, I'm fine," he insists. "I'm more worried about you."  
  
"I'll heal quickly," I reply. "A couple of days and you won't be able to tell I was cut."  
  
"You should get stitches." he says.  
  
I interrupt him with a soft kiss. "I'll be fine," I say. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him again. He places his hands on my hips and lightly runs his fingers up and down my sides, making my skin tingle under his gentle caress.  
  
A quiet knock at the door interrupts us and I sigh angrily; actually it's more of a growl, which makes Angel laugh. The gang better hope that it's apocalypse-y stuff or I'll open a can of Slayer-whoopass. They know how much Angel and I hate being interrupted when we're alone.  
  
"Buffy, I have to answer the door," Angel laughs as he tries to pull my arms from around his neck, but I'm too strong for him. He drags me over to the door, grinning down at me the whole time. He loves attention.  
  
"It's probably just one of the gang." I pout, still keeping my arms locked around his neck. I'm not about to let go of him just because Giles wants to know how the slaying went, or that Willow finally figured out that "ball of sunshine" spell. It's not that I don't care, but it can wait until tomorrow.  
  
I admit defeat, knowing full well how stubborn Angel can be, and lean against the wall beside the door pouting.  
  
Angel opens the door after giving me an award-winning smile, melting my tough exterior into a pile of goo. Damn him!  
  
It's Willow. "Please don't be mad at me but I have a note for Buffy." She hands me an envelope and says a quick goodbye.  
  
I open the letter as Angel closes the door. "Who's it from?"  
  
"Riley," I say absentmindedly as I walk to the couch. I sit down and read it over in my mind.  
  
*Dear Buffy,  
I'm sorry, again, for what I said to you. I had no right and I know that a letter is the worst way to say sorry and goodbye, but by the time you read this, I'll be on a plane heading to Europe. I'm leaving Sunnydale tonight to clean out another demon nest in Scotland and I probably won't be coming back so I wanted to say goodbye and good luck in life. I know Angel will treat you well. Riley.*  
  
"So, is he apologizing yet again?" Angel asks when I fold the letter and put it in my pocket.  
  
"Yup, that's what, twice in one day?" I note. "You should learn a thing or two from him, Angel."  
  
"And what do I have to apologize for?" he asks.  
  
"Nothing...yet," I say smirking. "But one day you just might have to, and I'll be expecting candy, or roses, or a crossbow...you know, something that says 'I love you'."  
  
"I say it everyday, Buffy." he grins.  
  
"Okay, so I'm shallow and I want proof." I say giving him an innocent smile.  
  
"What about the Claddaugh ring?" he asks, the grin fading from his face. Pulling the guilt trip again, Angel? Touché!  
  
"Well, I love it, Angel," I reply standing up and smiling at him from across the room. "It's beautiful and it means a lot to me. But you can't give me one every time you apologize or I'll have so many that I won't know what to do with them."  
  
His smile returns to his face as he walks over to where I'm standing and wraps his arms around my waist. "You're so certain that I'm going to be making mistakes, but what about you?" he asks. "What do I get when you apologize to me?"  
  
I grin slyly and look up at him. "Oh, I'll think of something." I say.  
  
He places light kisses on my neck and I wrap my arms around his neck as he moves his kisses to my lips. I catch a glance at my watch. It's nearly midnight.  
  
"Angel, I should probably get home," I say, pulling slightly away from him. "I've hardly been home all week, my mom will go ballistic. Plus, I've got school tomorrow."  
  
"Okay," he says, showing the disappointment in his voice. "Can I at least drive you home?"  
  
"Sure," I reply with a smile. "If you really want to."  
  
We arrive at my house almost fifteen minutes later, having to had stop to kill a vampire determined to make a name for himself by killing a Slayer. We laugh as we pull into my driveway as we talk about how the vamp had chased after Angel's car yelling threats and taunting us.  
  
I lean over and kiss Angel goodnight. Taking my keys out of my jacket pocket, I walk to the door and wave to Angel as I enter the house. I lean against the closed door with a sigh. It's been the most wonderful week of my life and I know I know it will only get better from now on with Angel by my side.  



	7. Bad News

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 7, 2001  
  
~~ Bad News ~~  
  
I walk up the stairs to the bathroom and my mind and emotions wander. When Angel left for LA, I felt that half of me was missing. I spent time with friends, threw everything I had into slaying, but nothing filled the empty void inside. Now that he's back I feel whole again.  
  
To fall in love is exciting and at the same time scary. But to lose a love is even scarier. I've lost Angel three times; when he lost his soul, when I sent him to Hell, and when he left for LA. But we've always found each other again and now I realize we truly are soul mates.  
  
I slip into bed and pull out my homework assignment and read it quietly to myself. "Okay, let's see: 'Write en essay on where you see yourself in five, ten, and fifteen years. Consider your possible career options, current relationships, and what you want out of life. Be creative, original, and, most importantly, realistic.' Didn't Dawn have an assignment like this a while ago?" I ask myself. Teachers must be running out of good ideas these days.  
  
I get to work planning my essay on a scrap piece of paper. "Career options: Slaying; slaying; and who could forget slaying!" I chuckle to myself. "Current relationships: Angel; Mom; Dawn; and the Scoobies." Dad who? "What I want out of life: Angel; married to Angel; children with Angel; to grow old with Angel; to grow old..."  
  
I somehow manage to turn the quick notes into an essay sounding somewhat normal with occupations like 'Kickboxing Coach' or 'Karate Instructor'. It's not going to win me a Nobel Prize, but it's an essay and it's done. I click off the light, noticing that it's almost 2am.  
  
Just as I fall asleep I am jolted awake by a large beeping noise. I jump out of bed, Slayer instincts on full alert, and realize that it's only my alarm clock. I turn it off and look at my bed. So warm and inviting, calling for me to go back to Slumberland. As much as I want to, I know that if I go back to sleep, I won't wake up until class has already started. I quickly shower and get ready. Forty minutes later I head to school and arrive just in time for class.  
  
Sitting in my Literature class I'm distracted by a nagging voice in the back of my head. I miss Angel already and I really want to skip next class so I can go see him but I can't. I've already missed too many classes because of Slayer-related issues. The class is finally over and I make my way to the phones. Ten minutes until History, I figure I can give Angel a quick call.  
  
There's no answer at his place and I'm forced to talk to his machine. "Hey, it's me. Just calling before History wanting to hear your voice. Yeah, I know it's cheesy and Hallmark-y but it's true. I guess I'll just have to settle for your machine's message. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. Call me at home tonight and we can get together. Bye...I love you." I hang up and head to class. *Angel probably went to the Magic Box to talk to Giles about the demons last night.* I think to myself.  
  
History class is as boring as ever but I manage to stay awake and take notes. I doodle on a piece of scrap paper as the professor tries to locate a transparency sheet for the projector. The class is chuckling quietly but suddenly stops. I look up and see Willow standing in the doorway talking to the professor. *Oh darn! A Scooby meeting during History* I think to myself sarcastically. The professor glances up at me and in an instant I've got my books in my arms and I'm down the stairs and at the door. My professor excuses me and apologizes sympathetically. "So what's up?" I ask casually as the door closes behind us and we begin to walk down the hallway. "You couldn't have come by at a more perfect time. It was getting so boring in there, not that History is a very enthusiastic class."  
  
"Um, Giles is waiting outside for us." she says.  
  
"What happened, Willow?" I ask.  
  
"We have to go to the hospital," she says. "There was a car accident."  
  
"Who?" I ask impatiently but gently.  
  
She doesn't answer me but looks at me with an 'I'm sorry' look on her face. My stomach drops to my feet. Please, God, don't let it be..  
  
"Is it Dawn? My mom? Xander?" I ask in a frantic whisper. "Who?"  
  
She stops walking and turns to face me. "It's Angel."  



	8. Sleeping Beauty

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 8, 2001  
  
~~ Sleeping Beauty ~~  
  
"Angel?" I ask hoarsely. My heart sinks into my chest and I feel like I can't breathe. Tears immediately gather in my eyes only to spill down my cheeks. Willow guides me to the parking lot where Giles is waiting. While driving, he tells me that Angel was on his way home when a driver ran through a red light at an intersection and hit him from the side. The other driver had called the cops and drove off, leaving Angel hurt and bleeding in his car. Thankfully other drivers kept him awake until paramedics arrived.  
  
We finally arrive at the hospital and I rush up to one of the nurses behind the desk and ask what room he's in and if I can see him.  
  
"Are you family?" she asks.  
  
"I'm his girlfriend." I reply.  
  
"Well the doctor's are still working on him," she says, looking at a chart. "They're almost finished though. It's been about forty-five minutes."  
  
"How bad was it?" I ask.  
  
"Well it would be best to ask Dr. Robinson when he's finished." she says gently.  
  
"Okay, thanks," I reply and take a seat beside Willow while Giles goes to fill out insurance forms and medical information.  
  
"Willow, he's been in there for forty-five minutes," I say worried out of my mind. "What if they can't help him? What if he's hurt too badly? What if...he dies?"  
  
"No more 'what ifs' for you, Buffy," Willow orders. "Angel will be fine. His car is probably in worse condition than he is. The classics were built tough."  
  
Ten minutes later, Dr. Robinson walks out of the doors and approaches us holding a clipboard. "Buffy Summers," he begins as Willow and I stand up. "Are you with a young man named Angel Carter?" Thanks to the Witness Protection Program, Angel has an actual identity. He'd called one of his former clients who worked there with the favor when he'd become human. I'm glad to see that it's valid and everything's in order.  
  
"Yes," I say. "How is he?"  
  
"Well he has lost a substantial amount of blood but we administered a transfusion and an IV drip so he should recover in a few days. He has two fractured ribs and his left hand is broken, which we repaired, and he needed stitches to close a large cut on his forehead and four on his chest, but he should heal with minimal scarring, if any. He's a very lucky man."  
  
"Thank you so much, doctor," I say with a smile and teary eyes. "Would it be possible for me to see him?"  
  
"Well, it'll be a couple hours before the anesthetic wears off," he says, sighing, then smiles. "But I could let you see him for a few minutes. And I'm sorry, but only one of you can go in."  
  
"Oh, it's okay," Willow says. "I'm just a moral supporter. I'll wait here."  
  
"Thanks, Will." I say. "See you in a few."  
  
She sits down as Dr. Robinson leads me to Angel's room. I repeat my thanks as he leaves the room. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight I see.  
  
He is half-lying, half-sitting on the bed with numerous cuts and bruises covering his face and arms and his left wrist in a cast. He looks so small and fragile as he sleeps encircled by the machines surrounding him. I walk slowly and silently up to the bed and take his right hand in mine. The most wonderful sound I hear is the heart monitor, beeping at a steady rate...Angel's heartbeat.  
  
"I know you're sleeping and you won't be awake for a few hours, but I want to tell you that I love you. When Will told me you'd been in an accident, I got so scared. I don't want to lose you...I can't lose you. I wouldn't be able to get over you again. Not that I really did the first few times." I say with a small chuckle. I lean over him and place a light kiss on his lips. "I love you." I whisper again.  
  
I leave him to sleep and step outside where the doctor is waiting for me. "He'll be okay, right?" I ask in a small voice.  
  
"Yes," the doctor says with a smile. "He looks much worse than he is."  
  
I sigh with relief and thank him one last time before heading out to the waiting room. Willow and Giles stand up as I walk toward them with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. They each hug me tightly, Willow first, then Giles, and we go to a small diner nearby for lunch.  
  
I order a small salad and slowly pick away at it while Willow orders soup and a sandwich, and Giles just orders tea. We discuss school, slaying, and Willow's latest spells but my mind keeps wandering back to Angel. *The doctor said he'd be fine so stop worrying!* I scold myself. *But what if the doctor is just saying that to make me feel better? It's probably part of his job description.*  
  
"Earth to Buffy," Willow says, waving a hand in front of my face. "Are you okay?"  
  
I snap out of my thoughts and smile shyly. "Yeah, sorry, just thinking."  
  
"Angel will pull through this, Buffy," Giles says soothingly. He checks his watch. "It's already been an hour...do you want to go back?"  
  
I shake my head. "No, not yet," I reply. "I can't just sit and wait around. Can we go to the shop and train or something?"  
  
"Of course," Giles replies.  
  
"I can't. I have a class starting in half an hour," Willow says. "I guess I'll have to leave you two to the training you two do."  
  
"Try saying that three times fast," I say with a grin.  
  
"Would you like a ride, Willow?" Giles offers.  
  
"Um, thanks but no thanks. I think I'll walk. It's a nice day out and I want to enjoy the lack of vampires." she replies.  
  
Giles insists on paying for the lunch and as he is, Willow gives me another hug. "Beep me if you need anything." she says.  
  
I nod. "Thanks, Will."  
  
Giles and I get into his car and drive toward the Magic Box as Willow walks in the direction of school. We arrive at the shop almost ten minutes later and Anya greets us cheerfully. I say hi as Giles and I enter the training room where we begin training immediately.  



	9. Who Are You?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 15, 2001  
  
~~ Who Are You? ~~  
  
We train for almost an hour straight. Practicing everything from balance to blindfolded fighting. It's a welcome distraction from thinking too negatively about Angel's condition.  
  
"Sorry I was so tough," I say as Giles hobbles over to a chair and sits down with a groan. "I was just upset about the accident and angry at the other driver."  
  
He looks at his watch. "Well, perhaps we should return to the hospital and see how Angel is faring," he suggests.  
  
I smile. I'm so glad he's been able to put Angelus behind him and see Angel as a completely different person...or even just as a person. "Sounds good," I reply. "But I have to swing by my house and change first. When Angel wakes up, I want to be 'Zestfully clean'."  
  
Giles gives me a questioning look, obviously not understanding my reference. "It's called 'TV', Giles. And on it, there are commercials that advertise things like soap, cars and beer." I explain in a mocking tone.  
  
"The last TV I watched was 'Passions' with Spike last year. The details of which I do not want to discuss...can we just get going?" he asks impatiently. I laugh and nod.  
  
Saying good bye to Anya, we leave the shop, heading to my house. Giles visits with Mom and Dawn as I quickly shower and dress to visit Angel. "Hair up? No, hair down. Angel likes my hair down better. Black skirt or brown skirt? That one's easy...black of course. And I'll wear my new burgundy silk shirt he bought me and the duster he gave me to top it off." I say as I get dressed. It's weird I know, but I'm just glad that Angel will be awake.  
After quickly applying my make-up and putting on my Vanilla perfume, it's Angel's favorite (did you expect anything less?), I trot downstairs. Dawn runs up to me and hugs me tightly with tears in her eyes. "Say 'hi' to him for me, okay?" she asks.  
  
I hug her back and tell her I will. Obviously she hadn't been told about the accident until now, but then again, how would she have found out before? Mom leans against the wall of the staircase. "Tell Angel we'll have him over for a huge dinner when he is released from the hospital. I know how terrible that food can be." I laugh and hug my Mom as well before Giles and I head out the door.  
  
We arrive at the hospital and greet the doctor coming out of Angel's room and he's writing something on the clipboard. "Hi Dr. Robinson," I say with a hopeful smile. "How's the patient doing?"  
  
"Well he's showing obvious signs of amnesia." he says.  
  
"Amnesia?" I ask. "Well, what does he remember?"  
  
"Just general knowledge. What year it is and who the president is," he replies. "But he didn't know where he was let alone his own name."  
  
"What caused it?" Giles asks.  
  
"He doesn't have a concussion and he doesn't have any head injuries severe enough to cause memory loss," he explains. "But we won't know for sure until we run a CAT scan."  
  
"Would it help if I tried talking to him?" I ask. "We've known each other for a couple years, maybe if he saw me..." My words drift off slowly and tears spring to my eyes.  
  
"You could try. Start by asking him some basic questions. Who you are, when you met...those sorts of things." Dr. Robinson suggests. "I have to visit another patient right now, but I'll be back in a few minutes. Good luck, Ms. Summers."  
  
"Thanks, doctor," I say. When he leaves I turn to Giles. "Is it okay if I--"  
  
"Of course, Buffy," Giles replies, knowing what I'm going to say. "I'll wait out here."  
  
I smile lightly at Giles and enter the room. Angel is awake and looking into a mirror, lightly touching the bruises and stitches on his face. The nurse is explaining that he was in a car accident.  
  
"Was anybody else hurt?" he asks.  
  
"Not seriously, no," she replies, adjusting a pillow behind his back. "The driver that hit you left the scene and they haven't found him yet." The nurse notices me and looks back at Angel. "I'll leave you two alone." she says and exits the room.  
  
Angel looks over at me and smiles, putting the mirror down on his lap. "Hi Angel," I say and walk over to him. "How are you?" It's taking all my strength not to hug him and it's killing me.  
  
"I'm fine," he says. "And how are you?"  
  
I chuckle slightly. Here he is, recovering from a car accident and he's asking how I am...typical Angel. "I'm fine too," I say. "But I'd be better if you could remember who I am."  
  
"Well, you're too young and too pretty to be a nurse," he says with a half-smile. "So, are you a relative?"  
  
Pain pierces my heart and I shake my head slowly. "I'm Buffy...your girlfriend." I say quietly.  
  
Instantly the smile leaves his face. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "But I don't remember anything except my name...and even the doctor had to tell me that."  
  
"You don't remember anything? Your past...our past?" I ask.  
  
"No," he says. "But maybe if you tell me a bit about us something will click."  
  
"Okay," I say nodding. I pull an armchair up beside the bed and sit down. "Um, where to start. Well, we've known each other for about three and a half years. We met during...work...and we really liked each other but we couldn't go out because of our...jobs. We avoided each other for a while but when I came back from my summer vacation, we went out. We broke up and got back together a couple more times and you moved to LA for about two years. About a week ago you moved back here and we started over. Any clickage?"  
  
Angel shakes his head. "Sorry, Bunny," he says. I knew this would be hard, but it's hurting way more than I thought it would.  
  
"It's 'Buffy'." I say, looking down at my Claddaugh ring.  
  
"Oh, right," he says quietly. We sit in silence for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. "So what happened in LA?"  
  
"You started 'Angel Investigations', your own detective agency," I reply. "Then you...quit...and moved here to be with me."  
  
"Well I can see why," he says, making me smile. He looks down at my hand and notices the ring. "Did I give you that?"  
  
I look down again and turn the ring on my finger. "Yeah," I say softly, remembering the moment he gave it to me. Tears spring to my eyes knowing that he doesn't. "You gave it to me when you were going away. You have one too, but it's at my place."  
  
He takes hold of my hand and looks at me. "I know I don't have the memories of us, and that I might not ever get them back, but I'd like to start over and make some new ones." he says, giving me a warm smile. It's hard to believe that it's not the same person I talked to less than twelve hours ago.  
  
I smile and a small tear falls down my cheek. He wipes it off gently with his thumb. "I'd like that too." I say.  
  
Dr. Robinson enters the room and interrupts us, carrying his trusty clipboard. "So, how's the memory game going?" he asks.  
  
"Not well," Angel replies. "Buffy's told me a little bit, but no light bulbs so far."  
  
"Well, I've set up a CAT scan appointment for later this evening at five o'clock. Hopefully we will be able to see what's causing this." he explains.  
  
"Thanks, Dr. Robinson," I say. He leaves the room and I turn to face Angel. "Do you want me to come back later and visit?" I ask.  
  
"Sure," he replies. "Not like I'm expecting anybody else."  
  
"Okay then, I'll see you in a few hours." I say, standing up. I don't know whether to hug him or just leave, but I shouldn't treat him differently, it might make him feel awkward. After all, it's still Angel, just a newer version, right? I lean down and give him a hug.  
  
When I pull away he's smiling. "I like your perfume. Vanilla, Right?" he asks.  
  
"Yeah, it's your--was your favorite," I reply.  
  
"Still is, I think," he says with a smile.  
  
We say goodbye and I leave the room. Giles meets me in the hall immediately. "How is he?" he asks.  
  
"Not good," I reply, tears collecting in my eyes. "He doesn't remember me at all...I-I want to go home."  
  
"Of course, Buffy," he says. He walks with me out to his car and drives me to my house. We walk inside and Giles begins to tell them what we learned at the hospital. I head upstairs without saying anything. What can I say to them? That the love of my life doesn't even recognize me? That he doesn't remember the 200 plus years he spent on Earth? I collapse on my bed in tears, crying myself to sleep. Life is so much simpler there.  



	10. Where Are You?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB. The song used is "Words Needed" by Scripture.  
  
Finished: April 15, 2001  
  
~~ Where Are You? ~~  
  
I open my eyes and look around. I'm in the Bronze and I know it's a dream because last thing I remember is crying on my bed. I'm sitting at a table and there's a large crowd on the dance floor, bouncing around like fish out of water. Then I see him enter the room. He spots me right away as if he knew where I'd be. Making his way toward my table he smiles and holds out his hand. I accept it and he pulls me out to the dance floor. The obnoxious noise that some call 'music' ends and is replaced by a slow song.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
I can hear you; can't you hear me?  
I can feel you; can you feel me?  
You're a shadow that I can't see  
But you're nowhere near me  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
He holds me close and we slowly dance together, our movements mirroring each other's. Resting my head against his chest I hear his heartbeat pounding lightly. His hands glide softly over my bare arms, warming them under his slight touch.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Where are you? Where are you?  
Where have you been all my life?  
Show me, please show me  
How to speak your language  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"I'm scared," I whisper. "I don't know if--"  
  
"Shh," he interrupts me. "Don't worry. It's only a mask. Just cut the string."  
  
"I don't understand," I say.  
  
"You will," he replies, wrapping his strong arms around me. Our eyes meet and he leans down to kiss me.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The crowd disappears as his lips brush mine and the music fades. Suddenly I'm alone and blackness surrounds me. I call his name only to hear my voice echo it back to me. I can feel him near but when I reach out to touch him, the coldness numbs my arms. I wrap them around myself and begin walking through the darkness. His presence surrounds me but I cannot find him.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Can you see me? Can you see me?  
I am right here, right beside you  
Can't you see? Can't you see?  
I've been trying to reach  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I stumble around for a few minutes and the silence surrounding me is deafening. I can't even hear my footsteps on the hard floor beneath my feet. Tears stream down my face as my cries become more desperate.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Where are you? Where are you?  
Where have you been all my life?  
Show me, please show me  
How to pronounce your name  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I can hear him calling my name now and I walk toward his voice. The lights suddenly return and we're back in each other's arms in the Bronze, dancing like we were never apart.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
He steps away from me. "I have to go now," he says. "So do you."  
  
"Please, don't leave," I plead.  
  
"Just cut the string." he repeats.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Where are you? Where are you?  
Where have you been all my life?  
I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
'Cause I just need the right words  
To get to your heart  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
He kisses me once more before walking away. I try to go after him but I can't move, so I call after him, begging him to come back. I try to move my arms and feet but they won't move an inch. I hear a name calling me and it brings me out of my sleep. Giles is above me holding my arms still. "Buffy, wake up. It's okay," he says. When he sees me calm down he explains why he's holding me down. "You were screaming. And kicking and hitting. I had to restrain you so you wouldn't hurt yourself...or me."  
  
My face is damp with tears and Giles lets go of my aching limbs to sit down beside me. I sit up and stare at the clock. It reads 6:30. "I have to go see Angel," I say.  
  
Giles nods and stands up. "I'll be downstairs." he says.  
  
After he leaves my room, I change quickly and try to make my eyes look less red from crying. After a few minutes of makeup and hair touch-ups, I head downstairs.  
  
I can tell that Mom and Dawn have been crying, but probably less than I have. I put on my 'Brave Buffy' face and say goodbye. *Just cut the string.* his voice repeats in my mind. The string to what?  



	11. Release and Recapture

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. "Cruel Intentions" belongs to Columbia Tri-Star; "Valentine" belongs to the WB; "Simply Irresistible" belongs to 20th Century Fox; and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" belongs to Sony Pictures Entertainment.  
  
Finished: April 15, 2001  
  
~~ Release and Recapture ~~  
  
We arrive at the hospital and I head right to Angel's room. He's lying on the bed sleeping. He shivers and wakes up, looking around. "Hi, Buffy," he says squinting at me through the dimmed lights. "Sorry...I fell asleep after the CAT scan."  
  
"Don't apologize," I say with a smile. I walk toward the bed and pull up the chair beside the bed. "Did Dr. Robinson get the results yet?"  
  
"Not just yet," he replies. "He said he'd tell me as soon as he got them."  
  
"How are you feeling?" I ask.  
  
"Other than nervous and scared? I'm okay," he says. "My body still aches, though."  
  
"There's nothing to be nervous or scared about," I say reassuringly. "I'm sure the doctor will be able to fix whatever is wrong."  
  
"No, I'm not worried about the results," he says. "Well, I'm still worried, just not only about that. I meant that I'm nervous and scared about this...us. Starting over again with you. I don't want to disappoint you by not being like the 'regular Angel'."  
  
"Well, Angel, you were never 'regular'," I chuckle. "And you could never disappoint me."  
  
"But I--" he begins before I stand up and interrupt him with a soft kiss.  
  
"Don't worry, Angel," I say. "If anything I should be the one to be nervous and scared. What if you don't like me?"  
  
"That would never happen," he replies. "You're beautiful, sweet, and caring, not to mention beautiful. I'm going to enjoy falling in love with you again."  
  
I lean down to kiss him again and our lips are millimeters apart when the doctor enters the room. I withdraw from Angel and spin around like a child caught with her hand in a cookie jar. "Welcome back, Ms. Summers," Dr. Robinson says carrying, of course, his clipboard. What is it with him and that thing? "Well the CAT scan went well, but I found nothing out of the regular. No injuries, no swelling, nothing."  
  
"So what does that mean?" Angel asks. "My amnesia is incurable?"  
  
"Not necessarily," the doctor replies. "You may regain your memory in time, but for now we'll just have to monitor your progress."  
  
"When can Angel be released?" I ask, holding Angel's hand.  
  
"Well, I think it should be safe to send him home in a few days," he replies. "But for now, you need your rest. It's been quite a long day."  
  
"Thank you," I say to Dr. Robinson. He nods and leaves the room. I turn back to Angel and smile. "I guess I should get going. Visiting hours will be over soon. But I can stop by tomorrow after school."  
  
"Sounds good," he replies. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Okay then," I say, leaning down to kiss him again. He puts a hand to my cheek and pulls me closer, deepening the kiss. When we finally break apart, I smile. "Good night, Casanova."  
  
"Good night," he says, smiling back.  
  
The next few evenings I spend with Angel. I tell him things about me, leaving out the Slayer part, of course, I'll tell him that later. Four days later on Friday, Angel is released from the hospital.  
  
"Make sure you get lots of rest and take the antibiotics I've prescribed for you," Dr. Robinson advises Angel. "It'll prevent infection and help you heal faster."  
  
"Sure thing, Doc," Angel says. "Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome," Dr. Robinson replies.  
  
Giles wheels Angel out to his car as I stayed behind to talk to Dr. Robinson. "You might want to keep an eye on him the first few days," he suggests. "Until he gets reacquainted with his life."  
  
"Okay, I will," I say. "Thank you very much, doctor."  
  
"No problem at all," he says. "Good luck, Ms. Summers."  
  
"Thanks," I say before walking out to Giles' car where they are waiting for me. I get into the backseat and Giles drives us to Angel's apartment. We help get him inside and Giles heads home, leaving me to spend the weekend at Angel's to help him ease back into his old life.  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to baby-sit me," he says. "I'm not going to wander around town and get lost."  
  
"I'm not baby-sitting," I insist with a sweet smile. "I'm Angel-sitting."  
  
He grins at me. "Well what do you want to do?"  
  
"How about a movie?" I suggest. "What do you want to see?"  
  
"Anything, I don't remember what I have or haven't seen," he chuckles. "Why don't you go check out the movie store down the street?"  
  
My mouth opens in shock. "You remembered that the store's there?" I ask incredulously. "Angel! That's amaz--"  
  
"Buffy, calm down," he says. "I saw it when we were driving here."  
  
"Oh," I mumble, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Well I guess I'll go see what's there. I'll bring back a variety." I give him a quick kiss and head to the door. "Be back soon."  
  
"Okay," he replies. "Bye."  
  
I walk down to Movie Mania and after ten minutes I return with four movies. "Cruel Intentions"; a drama, "Valentine" a romantic thriller, "Simply Irresistible"; a romantic comedy, and "I Know What You Did Last Summer"; a dramatic thriller.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Angel sits relaxing on the couch as Buffy makes her way to the store. He looks around the apartment. "Why the hell is everything so dark around here?" he asks himself aloud. "I'll have to get some new things to liven this place up a bit."  
  
There is a sudden knock at the door. *She's back already?* he thinks to himself. *That was quick.*  
  
Angel stands up; figuring Buffy might have forgotten to take her keys and slowly makes his way to the door. When he opens it, however, it isn't Buffy who stands on the other side, but a dark-haired woman who looks no older than 25. Her large eyes twinkle with excitement and her head is cocked slightly to the side as if listening to something Angel can't hear.  
  
"May I help you?" he asks.  
  
"No, but I can help you," she says seductively in a British accent. "I'm here to fix you, Daddy."  
  
Angel is confused. *Daddy?* he thinks to himself. *This girl's crazier than I am.*  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss, but I think you have the wrong apartment," he says.  
  
"No, shh!" she says putting a finger to her lips. "You know not what you were, but I know you want to be it again."  
  
"Yes, I want to remember what I was like before," I say. "But I don't think you can help me."  
  
"Oh, but I can, just let me in and you'll remember everything," she says.  
  
"Well, my girlfriend's going to be back in--" he begins.  
  
The dark-haired girl holds up a hand and waves her fingers in front of Angel. Entranced, he follows the movement intently with his eyes and she repeats herself in a soft tone. "Just let me in."  
  
"Come in," he says in a monotone voice. In an instant she is past the door. Angel snaps out of his trance to see her standing right in front of him. "I think you'd better leave, Miss." He backs up unknowingly into the hallway and the woman follows.  
  
"Not until you've been fixed, Daddy," she insists. "Then we can play in the sandbox."  
  
"I'll call the police if you don't leave now," he threatens.  
  
The woman laughs maniacally and advances upon him, cradling him in her arms. She looks so fragile yet she is incredibly strong. "I'll have no one spoiling our fun," she says as her incisors grow longer, her forehead creases and her eyes change to a golden hue.  



	12. Slayer 101

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. "Valentine" belongs to the WB and "Simply Irresistible" belongs to 20th Century Fox.  
  
Finished: April 15, 2001  
  
~~ Slayer 101 ~~  
  
I enter the apartment and instantly I know something's wrong. Angel's not on the couch where I left him and he's not in the kitchen. I hear giggles emanating from the bedroom. I drop the bag of movies on the floor and race to the door. It's locked but that' no problem for me. Turning the doorknob aggressively, I break the lock and enter the room. Angel is backed up against the wall as Dru presses herself against him.  
  
"Play with me, Daddy," she coos with a smile. Her fanged expression turns to a pout. "Have it your way. There'll be no playing before dinner."  
  
He leans in to bite Angel and I grab her arm, pulling her away from him before she makes contact. "Back off, psycho," I hiss.  
  
"Let go!" she screams, pulling her arm away. "You've spoiled everything now! Daddy shall be very cross with you."  
  
"Dru face it, your Daddy's gone and he's not coming back." I say, throwing a right cross and hitting her in the face. She hits the wall beside me and slumps to the floor crying. "Angel, get out of here." I order. He leaves the room as Dru stands up. "It's just you and me now," I say to her. "Let's try and make it quick, I have a movie date."  
  
She lunges toward me with hate in her yellow eyes. I grab her outstretched arms and fling her into the wall behind me. I pull a stake from out of my jacket. She lunges at me again, but with a stake in my hand I can't deflect her properly and she tackles me to the floor. She unloads punch after punch on my face until I finally get a good hit in and throw her off me. I can feel the warm blood seeping from my nose and lips and Dru runs out of the room as I grope the floor for my stake. My head is pounding. I must have knocked it against the floor when I hit the ground.  
  
My fingers grasp the smooth wood and I follow her out of the room. She's hurrying toward the couch where Angel is pacing, talking to the police on the phone. In the midst of telling them his address, he sees Dru race toward him and drops the phone on the floor. She pushes him back onto the couch, straddles him, and sinks her teeth into his neck. She pauses for a minute to sit up, lost in the taste of her Sire's blood. "You taste like honeydew, Daddy," she says. She turns around as I bury the stake in her heart from behind and I see the pain and surprise etched on her face.  
  
"I told you to back off," I smirk as she falls to dust. "Some girls just don't know when to give up."  
  
Angel looks up at me with one hand on his neck. "What the hell was she?" he asks with confusion clearly written on his face.  
  
"Uh, she belongs to a large gang in town," I say quickly. "They're often hyped up on PCP."  
  
Angel gives me a disbelieving look. "Then what happened to her?" he asks.  
  
"Um, it was a trick of light." I explain.  
  
"So do 'tricks of light' always leave dust all over the place?" he asks picking some off of his black shirt. I have no answer so he continues. "Tell me the truth, Buffy. She drank my blood...was she a vampire or something?" I nod and sit down beside him. "So what where you doing fighting her?"  
  
"I slay them, it's in the job description," I say. "I'm the Slayer. I fight vampires and other demons and save people."  
  
Angel sat back on the couch taking in the information. "You're a superhero?"  
  
"Not exactly," I say. "Nobody really knows about me except you, my other friends, and my family. And of course the demons."  
  
He sat silently for a minute. "That one kept calling me 'Daddy'." he says more to himself then to me.  
  
"Well, she was crazy," I explain. "She has been since she was made into a vampire." I don't think I should reveal too much about vampires in one night. I'll tell Angel about his own past when he's not in shock. "Should we watch some movies then?"  
  
"Sure, I'll get some popcorn," he says standing up.  
  
I stand up with him and take hold of his hands. "Are you okay? You seem dazed."  
  
"I am a little, but I'll be fine," he reassures me.  
  
There's a knock on the door and Angel startles. "I'll answer it," I say. "Besides, vampires can only come in if you invite them."  
  
I walk to the door and two police officers stand on the other side. "Hi Miss, we're responding to a call about an intruder at this address." one says.  
  
"Yeah, I called," he says. "Luckily my girlfriend came home and scared her away." The police look over at me, obviously thinking how small I am, compared to Angel. "She's tougher than she looks."  
  
The police take down a description of Dru and leave. Angel and I put "Simply Irresistible" into the VCR, figuring we've had enough horror for one night, and cozy up to each other on the couch. Well, actually, he lies down and I lay beside/on top of him and rest my head on his chest. The movie starts playing and Angel sees the main character, Amanda Shelton. "Hey, she's pretty cute," he says.  
  
I playfully hit him. "Yeah, well Adam Carr in "Valentine" is a total hottie," I reply, sticking my tongue out at him.  
  
He chuckles and pulls me closer. I'm asleep in minutes. A couple hours later I wake up and I'm in Angel's bed. I climb off the bed and stand at the doorway. Angel is sitting on the couch watching TV, probably still thinking of tonight's vampire adventure. He seems so different than he used to be. He's not so protective of me for one thing. Not that I minded Angel's willingness to be around me and take care of me, but I kind of miss it. Also, this Angel seems to be less affectionate. Like he said, he's afraid that he'll disappoint me or something. It's like comparing himself to an ex-boyfriend, except that the 'ex-boyfriend' is himself. I'd be happy if Angel could remember our past and who he is, but if he doesn't, well, it doesn't seem to matter much. I love both of them and would be happy with either.  
  
I walk to him and he looks up at me. I take the remote control from him and turn off the TV, then take his hands in mine. He stands up and I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. His hands trail up and down my sides. He may have forgot who he is, but somewhere deep inside, he still remembers my body.  
  
I pull him into the bedroom and he watches me as we make love. He studies and explores my body and unlike Parker or Riley, I don't feel self-conscious while he does it.  
  
As we lay wrapped in each other's arms, he falls asleep and I rest my head on his chest, eventually falling asleep too.  



	13. Realizations

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 18, 2001  
  
~~ Realizations ~~  
  
I wake up the next morning with Angel's arms wrapped around me, holding me close. Smiling to myself I realize that this is the first night in almost a week that I haven't woken up wondering where Angel is. I've been afraid of waking up and learning that somehow, Angel's condition has gotten worse. I feel safe in his arms and I know that I truly belong with him...even if he doesn't remember everything about himself.  
  
I gently move Angel's arms from around me and slip out of bed. After a quick shower, I get dressed and write a note for Angel telling him I went to visit a friend and that I'll be back soon. It's 9:21, if I leave now, I'll be back in thirty minutes or less.  
  
I stop by the butcher's on the way to Spike's, picking up a bag of pig's blood and arrive at his crypt soon after. I'm about to enter the crypt like I usually do, but deciding against it, I knock loudly and Spike hollers an invitation through the door. I walk in and Spike saunters up to me. "So I've heard Angel's taken ill," he says with a knowing smile. "What's he got?"  
  
"I'm not here to discuss Angel, I wanted to thank you for helping me fight those demons last week," I say holding up the paper bag containing the blood. "I warmed it up just for you."  
  
He grabs it from me and pulls out the bag of blood. "It's not warm, Slayer." he grumbles.  
  
"It cooled off on the way here, I guess." I lie.  
  
He shrugs and walks over to his microwave, putting the blood inside. *Spike has a microwave?* I wonder. "Where'd you get all your stuff?" I ask.  
  
"Mostly from the dump. But some, like the mini-fridge, I picked up at the end of driveways," he explained. "Sometimes I just don't understand humans. I mean, the microwave works perfectly; you only need to heat things for double the normal time. And the lamp is--"  
  
"Okay, Spike, I don't need the condition of each object or I'll be here all day," I say, I have to get back to Angel's. I miss him already. "I've got to get going and--"  
  
"You shouldn't screw the sickly, Slayer," Spike sneers. "It doesn't become you."  
  
"Whereas Dru was in perfect health for the hundred plus years you were together, right?" I retort in the same manner. I bite my tongue after remembering that Dru is no longer a problem. Should I tell Spike? The angry look on his face answers my question. Maybe later.  
  
"Sod off," he mumbles. "You have Peaches to blame for her condition."  
  
"Spike, how did you know about Angel being sick anyway?" I ask.  
  
"Just vampire intuition," he replies coolly. Just then the door opens to the crypt and Dawn walks in. "Oh yeah, that and the fact that Nibblet told me."  
  
She stops in her tracks as she sees me there. "Buffy, hi, how's Angel?" she asks, trying to avoid the obvious shock showing on my face.  
  
"Dawn what are you doing here?" I ask.  
  
"I'm just visiting Spike," she says.  
  
"Why?" I ask incredulously.  
  
"Because he doesn't treat me like a 'key'." she replies bitterly.  
  
"Well, I was just leaving and so are you, Dawn," I say, grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the crypt with me.  
  
"Why should you care who I hang out with?" she asks, wrenching her arm out of my grip after I shut the door behind us.  
  
"Because it's Spike, that's why," I reply. "He's a vampire and even with his chip he can still hurt you."  
  
"How?" she asks indignantly.  
  
"Well he smokes like a chimney for one thing," I answer. "And he's just--creepy."  
  
"I don't think he's creepy," she says, trying to hide a smile.  
  
"Please tell me you don't have a crush on him," I say, exasperated. "He's a vampire!"  
  
"Angel was a vampire." she retorts.  
  
"Angel was good." I reply, glaring at her.  
  
"Spike's can be too," she says. "He's changed, Buffy."  
  
"What, that chip in his head?" I ask. "That's not change, that's just holding him back. He's like a serial killer in prison."  
  
"Women marry them all the time!" Dawn yells, not making her side of the argument very effective. "But he's not like that."  
  
"Look, Dawn, you're fourteen and he's--way too old." I say.  
  
"Well, you were sixteen and Angel was way older than Spike is now," she argues. "Besides, it's not like Spike would even be interested in me. He's still in love with Dru. She's all he talks about, and it's making me crazy--pun intended. Look can we just drop it?"  
  
"Fine, but if I catch you over there again, I'm telling Mom." I warn.  
  
"Whatever," she sighs in defeat. "Why don't you leave me alone and go do a spell or something?"  
  
I stop walking suddenly and nearly trip over myself. A spell. Why didn't I think of that? Dawn continues to walk in the direction of home and I run back to Angel's with the hopeful news.  
  
He's still sleeping when I arrive and I quickly wake him up. He pulls me onto the bed and holds me close to him, smiling. "Good morning, cutie" he says in a sleepy voice.  
  
"Morning, Angel," I say hurriedly, escaping his grasp and sitting up. "Get up and get dressed, we have to go see Giles."  
  
"What for? It's Saturday," he says, rolling over.  
  
"Because I might just have a way to get your memory back." I say, stealing the sheets off of the bed before darting out of the room only to be chased by him. He grabs me and begins tickling me but my squeals are muffled by a kiss.  



	14. I Put A Spell On You

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Daynon and the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 25, 2001  
  
A/N: THANKS to SpikeLover for helping me through my writer's block! :)  
  
~~ I Put A Spell On You ~~  
  
"What do you think, Giles?" I ask hopefully. "That way we can see if anything is causing Angel's memory loss." We're sitting in the danger room while Angel waits in the shop, helping customers, much to Anya's dismay that Giles might actually hire him.  
  
"I don't know Buffy," he replies. "If nothing is present, your emotional state could affect the spell. It could have dire consequences."  
  
"I've done it before," I say. "It'll be easier this time since I've been through it once. It'll be dire-free."  
  
"Perhaps Willow or Tara should perform the spell," he says. "Just to be on the safe side."  
  
"Giles, I am safe!" I protest. "I've saved the world time and time again. You think I can't handle a little spell?"  
  
"Well, Buffy, I guess it wouldn't be a problem," he says, barely avoiding a losing argument. "But you must be--"  
  
"Be careful and perform it alone," I finish for him. "Thanks for the worry, but I read the warning label the first time I did it."  
  
Giles chuckles at my persistence and nods. "Let's find those ingredients." he says.  
  
I give a small squeal and throw my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Giles!" I exclaim.  
  
"You're welcome, Buffy." he replies, pulling my arms from around his neck as he stands up.  
  
About an hour later, everything is prepared for the spell. While Angel waits patiently downstairs watching TV with Dawn, I'm sitting cross-legged in my little counter-clockwise spooky-sand circle and my magic-incense is lit. Resting my hands on my knees, I close my eyes and begin meditating.  
  
Hours pass like minutes and it's dark when I snap out of my trance. Stepping outside of my room, I look at the pictures of the wall. Dawn flickers in and out of them like before, so I know the spell as successful. I head downstairs and find Angel asleep on the couch with a flickering Dawn sleeping in the armchair beside him. I kneel down in front of Angel and notice a light blue aura surrounding his head. It's very light and hard to see, but I can see it better against his dark hair.  
  
He stirs and wakes up. "Buffy?" he asks. His voice sounds far away and has a slight echo effect. "Did the spell work?"  
  
"Yeah, there's something around your head," I say quietly. He unconsciously reaches his had to his head. That's when I see the thin trail of the same blue colour leading from the bubble surrounding it. It looks sort of like an astronaut's oxygen cord, but much thinner, maybe more like a strand from a spider's web. It leads out of the window, not broken by walls or glass. "Stay here, Angel. I'll be back soon."  
  
I stand and grab my pre-packed weapons bag. I leave the house, ignoring Angel's pleas to let him join me. I follow the strand quickly as it quickly begins to flicker, like Dawn and her pictures had. Seeing it lead into a large house before it dissipates, I break into a sprint toward my destination. Stopping outside, I marvel at the building. It looks to be two stories tall and made of white stucco with a flat roof. All of the windows have shutters on them, some closed and some sealed off with bricks, which immediately make me think 'vampire'. Large trees and bushes surround the house like a moat, except for the sidewalk leading to the front door.  
  
I walk up to the door and stand hesitantly, gripping my weapons bag tightly. Should I barge in or knock? Maybe it's not a vampire; maybe it's just a peaceable Wicca or Warlock. I notice a gold nameplate imbedded in the wall beside the door. Inscribed on it is the name 'Daynon' and under it reads "Practicing Warlock". So does this guy run a business or what? I knock on the door and a butler answers.  
  
He stares at me for a minute waiting for me to say something I guess. "Hi, I'm Buffy Sum--"  
  
"This way, Miss Sum," he interrupts me. I roll my eyes after I walk by him as he holds the door for me. He closes the door behind me and I take in my surroundings. An elegant chandelier hangs from the ceiling. Large, wooden, sliding doors are on either side of the foyer, probably leading to conference rooms, or a living room, or kitchen, or something. A red carpeted stairway leads up at the opposite end of the room and splits into a left and right side creating a balcony around the rest of the room. Like in the movie 'Titanic'.  
  
The butler leads me up the stairs and to the left side of the stairs. There are numerous doors along the balcony and he leads me to one near the end of the line. He knocks on the door and I hear footsteps then the door opens. A tall man answers the door, looking to be in his forties, but he's a magician so I can't be sure. He has short brown hair, glasses, a beard and is dressed in a plaid shirt and blue jeans...sort of ruining the whole 'magician's wardrobe' idea I have in my head. He smiles when he sees me standing across from him.  
  
"Sorry to bother you sir, but this young lady was at the door," 'Jeeves' said.  
  
"Thank you, Thomas," Daynon replied. "That will be all."  
  
Thomas bowed slightly and returned downstairs. "Come in, Miss--?"  
  
"Summers," I replied with a smile. "Buffy Summers."  
  
"Ah, the Slayer," he says returning my smile. He holds the door open for me and offers me a seat in front of a nice oak desk with another gold nameplate reading 'Daynon' on it. "I think I know why you're here."  
  
"And why would that be?" I ask cautiously.  
  
"Because you want your boyfriend back," he replies, sitting down in the chair behind the desk.  
  
"So, you cast the spell?" I ask.  
  
He nods. "Yes, I can sense the magic in you now. You used 'Tirer La Couture', didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah, it led me here," I answer. "A blue strand of something."  
  
"I guess every curtain has its string." he chuckles.  
  
I hear Angel's voice in my head say, 'Just cut the string.' I stand up suddenly. "Cut the string." I order. "You have to give Angel back to me."  
  
"I can't do that, dear," he says standing up. "It was another client's service done. I can't just undo it."  
  
"Well, I'll pay you to undo it," I offer, digging into my purse. "Please, this is very important." I pull out a wad of cash, probably about $300. "This is all I have but I'll pay you whatever you want, Slayer's Honour!"  
  
"Tell me," he says, motioning for me to sit. I do and he does as well. "Why do you want the old Angel back so badly? Don't you love this one as well?"  
"Yes I do," I reply honestly. "But he's so confused about his life, and I know he wants to be his normal self."  
  
"But what is normal?" he asks me.  
  
"Normal is before the car accident, when he was just my Angel." I reply.  
  
"But you love--"  
  
"Yes, I love the current Angel too! How many times do I have to say it?" I ask angrily. Daynon just sits back with his hands laced across his abdomen, listening to my rant. "I mean, I love both of them with all my heart, but this morning Angel was so happy to think he could be his former self. He wanted to do it for me."  
  
It is now I realize that I had never even asked Angel what he truly wanted. I'd just said, 'There's a spell we can do.' and he was all for it, for my sake. He could finally live a life without the guilt, or memories of being Angelus, or even being in Hell. But it would also be a life without knowing of all of his hard work to become human, or his long, arduous hours of brooding, our first meeting, our first kiss, or even our first lovemaking.  
  
The second line of 'withouts' heavily outweighs the first. I'm certain Angel would want to remember everything about our troubled past, and I'm sure he would want to remember the long, difficult battle to achieve his Shanshu. I sit in the chair, thinking, staring at my hands, and turning the Claddaugh ring on my left ring finger. Surely Angel would want to remember giving this to me. Am I being selfish? I hope not. I want Angel to remember everything about himself as well as us. That's not selfishness; that's love...right?  
  
Daynon has sat quietly and patiently throughout my mind-wanderings and when I look up at him through tear filled eyes, he smiles warmly.  
  
"So you've made your decision then?" he asks softly.  
  
"Yes," I say in a choked voice, nodding my head accordingly. Remembering what Angel told me in the dream, I give my reply. "Just cut the string."  



	15. Insecurities

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Daynon and the plot. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: April 25, 2001  
  
A/N: THANKS to SpikeLover for helping me through my writer's block! :)  
  
~~ Insecurities ~~  
  
"So, you want me to break the spell and return Angel to his former self?" Daynon asks just to be sure.  
  
I nod again. "Please," I practically beg, holding back the tears that threaten to fall.  
  
"Okay," he says in a quiet voice. He pulls a drawer out from his desk and pulls out some papers. They look like pages of a contract and he tears them up after leafing through them. A faint blue light explodes from the torn pages and a light breeze lifts them into the air. They burn up in a blue flame that radiates not heat, but an icy chill, causing goosebumps to form on my skin. In five seconds, the papers and flames are gone and there is no trace of them anywhere, even my goosebumps are gone.  
  
I look back at Daynon and he is smiling. "You may ask one question, but only one," he says. "Ask carefully."  
  
A few questions run through my mind. *Will there be any aftereffects? Will Angel remember what happened during the spell?* I finally decide on one. "Who asked you to cast the spell?" I ask seriously.  
  
"Are you sure you want to know?" he asks just as seriously.  
  
"Yes, I have to know who did this to him," I reply. "And why."  
  
"Angel," he responds. "He asked me to place the spell upon him."  
  
"What?!" I exclaim. "Why would he do that?"  
  
"You'll have to ask him." Daynon replied. "You used your one question."  
  
"So that's it, huh?" I ask with a calm rage. "You're not going to tell me anything about why he did this? About why he did this to himself...or to me?"  
  
"Not to you, for you," he replies calmly. "You'd better talk to him about this."  
  
*For me?* I think to myself as I stand up, shaking with rage and uncertainty. My teeth and fists are clenched. "You did this to us. Isn't there some little voice in your head that tells you not to mess with people's lives?"  
  
"Yes, I do have a conscience," he says. "But it was drowned out by the shuffling of hundred dollar bills."  
  
My eyes grow wide with anger. This man doesn't care about our lives; he only cares about money, power, and magic.  
  
I storm around his desk and grab his neck, pushing him against the wall. It's an easy task since the chair has rollers on it. He doesn't even flinch. Just sits there calmly, like this happens everyday or something. "What gives you the right to do this?" I ask angrily.  
  
"I've already answered your one question which seems to have blossomed into three," he says with a smug look. "Now if you'll excuse me."  
  
A see a bright flash of light and suddenly I'm back on my doorstep. That jerk used magic to get me to leave. *If only he wasn't human I'd--* my thoughts are cut off as Angel swings the door open.  
  
"Buffy," he says before pulling me into a fierce hug. "It worked! I remember everything."  
  
"Then I trust you remember hiring that wizard to give you amnesia," I say. He pulls away from me and looks at me for a minute. "I can't believe you did that, Angel. What were you thinking?" I run upstairs to my room and slam the door shut, then collapse on my bed in a fit of tears.  
  
The door banging shut usually gives everyone in a five-mile radius fair warning that I'm in a bad mood. But obviously Angel doesn't heed the warning and enters my room a few minutes later. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.  
  
I turn over and face away from him. He sighs as he quietly closes the door behind him and walks over to my bed, sitting down beside me. "Why?" I ask in a strangled voice.  
  
"Because I wanted you to see what it would be like if I'd never been a vampire; if I never had to carry the deaths of thousands of people on my shoulders. I just wanted to show you what you could be missing." he explains.  
  
"Angel, isn't that what happened before when you left me? No, scratch that, you didn't just leave me...you left town." I say harshly, my tears slowly subsiding.  
  
"You knew I couldn't stand be around you and not be touching you. Every time I saw you...it was like falling in love with you all over again. It still is," he says softly, then sighs out of frustration. "But that's not the point. The point is--"  
  
I flip over on my side to face him. "The point, Angel, is that you always think that I would be happier with someone 'normal'. But you don't get it. You tried this before. It didn't work then and it's certainly not going to work now. Don't you realize by now that I don't want anybody else?" I sit up slightly, facing him. "You are all that I could ever want; you are my 'normal'. You said that every time you saw me you fell in love with me again...do you think that I didn't feel the same way? That I still don't?"  
  
Angel looks down and shrugs at his insecurities. "Angel, I love you more and more everyday...if that's even possible," I say. "When you lost your memory, it was difficult, but I still loved you as much as I ever did. I always will, and I hope you understand that."  
  
He looks up at me and I lay down beside him, resting my head on his chest. Thump-thump, thump-thump. His heartbeat soothes me as I fidget with the buttons on his shirt. "What else, Buffy?"  
  
"I was just wondering...was the car accident part of the contract?" I ask.  
  
"Of course not," he replies. "Do you think I'd intentionally hurt my car?" I laugh. Of course Angel wouldn't put his Plymouth Belvedere, 'Belle', in danger; that's why he doesn't let me drive it. "After I dropped you off, I went to Daynon's and asked him to do the spell. He performed it as I was driving home, though he was supposed to wait until the next evening when I'd had a chance to tell Giles."  
  
"Can you at least sue him for the damages?" I ask hopefully.  
  
"Probably not," he responds. "He had to destroy the contract to break the spell."  
  
"Oh, right. I forgot about the ice flame-thing when I was busy threatening him."  
  
"Did you hurt him?" Angel asks.  
  
"Sadly no," I reply, looking up at him. "He transported me to the front door before I could."  
  
"That's too bad," he says with a slight grin.  
  
"Do you want me to go back? I could rough him up a bit for you." I say with a laugh. He leans down and kisses me gently. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Buffy." he replies.  
  
I nestle up to him, resting my head on the soft sleekness of his silk shirt and drift off to sleep.  



	16. Life Goes On

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and Stefania, even though she isn't really in it. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: May 2, 3001  
  
~~ Life Goes On ~~  
  
I return home from Willow's one night to find Angel lying on the couch with a book in his hand, his legs hanging over the armrest...we just couldn't seem to find a couch big enough to hold him. I lean against the doorway casually. "Did anyone ever tell you how sexy you are when you brood?"  
  
He puts the book down and smirks at me. Standing up, he runs a hand through his hair...I'm surprised he can with all that styling-gel in it. I don't know if he's fussier about it now or when he was a vampire. Probably now since he can actually see himself in the mirror.  
  
I walk over to him and take the book from his hand. 'Poetry for the Savage Beast'. I look up at him with a grin. "Yeah, honey, you're a real savage." I say sarcastically.  
  
"Only when I want to be." he replies, snaking his hands around my waist and placing light kisses on my neck. His kisses turn into light nibbles and shivers run up my spine, as do his hands. What was it I wanted to tell him? Oh well, it can't be that important.  
  
He stops with the nibbling and I give him a small pout. "What? Find something you didn't like?" I ask. "Like a scar of some kind?"  
  
He looks away. "I'm sorry about that, Buffy." Oops.  
  
I wrap my arms around his neck and smile at him. "Look, Angel, I made you bite me. It was my decision and I'm glad I made it because if I hadn't, you probably would've died and we wouldn't be here tonight. Besides, it marks me as yours and I wouldn't have it any other way."  
  
He smiles softly and almost shyly. Leaning down he kisses me softly. Suddenly his fingers are tickling my sides making me jump a near foot. I try to keep his hands away but I'm laughing so hard I'm weak against his attack.  
  
I slowly back away and end up tripping and falling onto the loveseat behind me, bringing Angel crashing down with me, almost crushing me...almost. Still his fingers torment my nerves until I can't breathe. "S-stop." I say between giggles. Finally he gives up and I take a few minutes to catch my breath he hovers above me with a huge smile on his face, like he's waiting for me to do or say something back. Okay, so I will.  
  
"Angel, I'm pregnant." I say, unsure of what his reaction will be. I mean, we've been married for almost three years now and we'd talked about children but we hadn't really decided. Too late for that now.  
  
The smile leaves his face and is replaced with shock. I stare into his chocolate brown eyes trying to find an answer but all I can think is, 'Will the baby have his eyes?'  
  
He looks down at my stomach and immediately backs up off of me. "God, I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you okay?" he asks, pulling me to my feet.  
  
I smile and nod. "Yes, I'm fine," I reply. "Nothing's broken or bruised, our lives can resume."  
  
He runs a hand through his hair again, I don't think he knew he was doing it this time though. "When--how--" he stutters in small gasps.  
  
"About a month ago, and well, you should know how," I reply with smile. He's pacing now. Pacing is not good. "Angel, what's wrong?"  
  
He stops and turns to me. "Nothing, it's just--" he begins. "Wow! I mean...a baby!"  
  
"Breathe, honey, you remember what breathing's like?" I say. He walks up to me and hugs me close. When he pulls away, he's smiling. He looks down at my stomach again and puts a hand against it.  
  
"A baby," he whispers as if he's still trying to believe it. Angel looks at me with shining eyes, like a six-year-old getting a new bike for Christmas. He kisses me gently. "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too, Angel," I reply. "So it's a good thing?"  
  
He laughs. "Yes, Buffy, it's a very good thing."  
  
"Good," I reply. I wrap my arms around his waist and lean against him with a sigh. His arms return the favour and we stand in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Does Willow know?" he asks.  
  
"Yeah, I took the home test there and we cried for about an hour," I say. "I still have to go to the doctor next week, though...make sure everything's fine."  
  
"Everything will be," he replies. "You're a Slayer. You Summers women are born strong."  
  
"Ex-Slayer," I remind him. "Technically Stefania is the Slayer, I'm just 'the old chick who knows kung-fu'. At least that's what Giles says she calls me."  
  
"She doesn't know you're 'The Buffy'?" he asks. "The only Slayer to live to her retirement."  
  
"She knows, she just doesn't want to be one. The whole 'pre-planned destiny' thing scares her...she reminds me of me," I say with a smile. "In that case, I'd better warn her about sexy, cryptic guys in alleys."  
  
Angel grins at me. "I never imagined that we'd be here when I first met you," he says, brushing a wisp of hair out of my face.  
  
"Yeah, I know...I was such a bitch to you," I say, making him smile even more. "Why did you put up with me?"  
  
"Love does strange things to a man," he says. "Like, buying hair-gel and big leather coats to impress women."  
  
"Well, it worked," I reply. I glance at my watch. "It's almost two o'clock, honey. I have to work at nine tomorrow."  
  
"I get to sleep in," he gloats. "I work at nine-thirty."  
  
Laughing, I pull him into the bedroom. Curling up against each other, my back to his chest, he rests his hand over my stomach, protecting the delicate life sheltered within, and we fall into a blissful sleep. The world seems to stop whenever we're together, but even in our dormant state, inside my belly, life goes on.  



End file.
